A couple of days ago, my friend had commented on a Facebook post. We then commented back and forth a couple times and I posted this. “I think that’s why I’m quiet. God wants my voice back & satan fights to keep it. he knows what God is going to do with it”
It hit me that statement was more than a statement. It was God speaking to me. This was also right after a church service we had about our life dreams. God definitely got me to thinking during that service. But I really FELT it in my spirit when I wrote that. “God wants my voice back.” From that moment, it never left my thoughts. I even took a nap after church and went to sleep thinking about it.
We had a service at church that night, Worship through the Arts. We were able to show how we worship God through the arts. I had decided not to really do anything, as I am blessed to do a few different artistic things. I decided to just worship as others were sharing. I did take my journal and Bible, though, in case I wanted to write or doodle.
Again, God just keep bringing that back to me. “God wants my voice back.” So I knew that needed to just write it out. I felt in my spirit that to journal, that time, was to just write words and doodles. I did end up sharing what God spoke to me about my voice but also my “Chosen” declarations that He gave me during the Bold in the Soul challenge in June.
Now…a little about me. I am quiet, shy, and always thought I didn’t matter or that I wasn’t good enough. I grew up poor and in areas that people looked down on. I was from a broken home and I was overweight. So yes, I was bullied. And I just always felt like I didn’t or couldn’t make a difference. Even though I know otherwise, now, those words and actions by others still affect me. I just kept to myself. I have always despised speaking in front of people because I knew they would be looking at me. It makes me feel vulnerable and scared that I will mess up and they will laugh at me. Or think I’m not good enough.
Lately, though, God has been telling me it’s time to change it. That it’s time to let all that go, for good. That my past is that. My past. That it’s time for me to use my words for Him. Yes, I write. But He wants more. He wants SPOKEN words. He has more in store for my future. GOD WANTS MY VOICE BACK!!
I love how God works. In the past few months, He has sent quite a few different people to prophesy and speak into my life about how God is going to use me to speak. He is taking me through different trainings to help me with this. Not just through others…but God has let me know that it’s time to let go of that fear. That He wants to HEAR my words. Not just see them.
He wants me to MOVE. He wants me to SPEAK! And I know it’s not about me. It’s ALL about HIM!
So…for too long, I have hidden myself. I have let satan take my voice. Making me think it was worthless and useless. BUT GOD!! God says otherwise! It’s why the enemy has fought so hard. The enemy knows that God is going to use my voice to RISE UP and to RAISE UP others for HIM! God is going to use my voice to make an impact for the KINGDOM OF GOD!!
So, satan, GOD WANTS MY VOICE BACK…and He is going to get it! It might take a bit for me to fully let go of the un-confidence (yeah, not proper English lol)…but God is going to use that too! To show others that with HIM … ALL things are possible!
Heavenly Daddy… HERE I AM…Send Me!