God has been working in me a lot lately. After a lifetime of never feeling good enough…it’s hard to overcome. But God is AWESOME and has shown me that I am MORE than enough! I just have to keep walking in it!
Saturday, our church went to Hungry Mother State Park in Virginia. There are tons of activities to do there, but my husband and I chose to walk the lake trail. We weren’t going to do the whole trail but because I wanted to, my husband said we would. Y’all…I am SO proud of him! He is 69 and did the whole 6.35 miles with me!!
I had just came from a conversation with two friends from church. My one friend was talking about the dream that she had the night before. It was definitely a dream from God and had great meaning. It was after that, that Paul and I went walking.
Though my husband and I are together all the time, we don’t spend enough QUALITY time together. Just each other and talking. This walk was awesome. It was just me and him talking to each other and worshiping and praising God. Such a GORGEOUS day that God gave us for this. Soft breezes, it wasn’t too hot or too cold. It was just perfect. And for most of it, we didn’t even have other people around. It’s like God wanted us to have this time together.
I remember at one point telling Paul, my husband, that I get frustrated sometimes because I don’t have dreams and visions like other people do. That I feel God is trying to give me all that but I feel like there is a wall there. Paul’s words were, “It’s not a PHYSICAL wall. It’s mental. You have to push through it.” He then told me that he feels like I think I’m not good enough for it. That is EXACTLY how I’ve always felt.
Fast forward to Sunday, the next day. I was in a conversation with 2 of my friends at church…one of them being the same one from Saturday that had the dream. I was talking about the walk and the talk my husband and I had. How I told him that I wanted dreams and visions as well. My friend told me she was glad I said that because God has put me in her heart. And she felt like I didn’t feel worthy. But that God wants me to have that along with baptism of Holy Spirit.
WOW! Pretty much what I had said. I didn’t feel good enough. Didn’t feel worthy.
Both of my friends decided to pray over me right then. For walls to be torn down. For me to know who I am and WHOSE I am. That I AM WORTHY. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! That the enemies lies would be rejected! It was BEFORE worship had even started.
Whew! I felt God start a work in me and I know it’s more and more each day. And oh how God worked through worship and regular service. All of our worship songs were about tearing down lies and walls that day. I felt Him moving in me, all over! What an awesome ENCOUNTER!!
During the prayer and service, I saw this journaling in my mind. So I had to do it when I got home.
To some, I am sure it sounds crazy. But to me…it was and is confirmation. Of all that God has in store for me. Of all that God is doing in me!
Thank you, Heavenly Daddy!
This is one of the songs…and one we have been singing a few weeks at church. One of my new favorites!